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Not much has changed for us in the four years since Pete died. This past
year has been no less difficult than those in the past. I will never be
able to verbally express the gut wrenching pain that we as a family have
suffered since losing Pete. We couldn't make sense of it then,
and we are no closer to understanding today. We know you live in
heaven and we know you miss us too. We wish you could come back, someday......
sometime....... somehow....... if only for a moment. The day you died Peter the
dreams of your life stopped and a very big part of our
lives did too. Why on that day, did the angels choose you?
Whatever God wanted you for must have been big. I'm sure whatever it
is, you're doing a
great job and making Him very happy. I just wish he could have waited a
lot longer!
We continue to miss Pete's physical presence. Each memory of him is
embedded in our hearts. I still try to fool myself into believing
that I am having a horrible nightmare and that I'll wake up and Pete
will be here to tell me it was just a bad dream. It seems like just
yesterday you were riding around in your Bronco with the music blaring,
hunting and ice fishing with Dad and the guys and planning your next
party with your friends. To see you happy, smiling and content,
striving towards goals of your own, having fun with your friends was
all we ever wished for you. You were growing in such
a remarkable way. Always setting your goals and taking them one step
at a time. Building your path in life with sheer determination, never
giving up and always seeing the light at the end, no matter how far away it seemed. You filled our lives with wonder, touched us with surprise, we always saw that something special deep within your eyes. We gleamed with pride at each step in your life.
A life cut so abruptly that cold February morning.
What an extraordinary person you were becoming, Peter.
Sometimes when it's very quiet I can still hear the sound of your voice. The thought of never seeing you again or talking to you is so unbearable. At times it hurts too much to remember and then at times, I am so afraid that I will forget. We are thankful for the seventeen years that we had together but somehow it just wasn't enough.
I often walk in your room and look around. All of your things are still there. Your deer head hanging on the wall, the stereo and CD's waiting to be played, your favorite Lacrosse stick at the edge of your bed. The shirts and sweatshirts you once wore are still neatly folded in your drawers. Your bed and pillows are all in place. We are not ready to pack up your things. Not sure if that day will come. One of the few things that keep us going is the memories of you.
We want you to know that we loved everything about you. We loved your smile, we loved your laughter, we loved your eyes when you showed emotion, and we loved your mind when you were discovering new things. We watched you grow from a little boy into a young man that anyone would have been proud to call their son, their brother and friend.
We pray to you Pete for the strength to walk through life facing each new day without you until it is our time to join you.
So on this day Feb 18th a day that changed our lives forever, we will make our
journey to Speculator with a few of our friends and walk down the
trail to the place where you lost your life. We will place flowers, say a
prayer and think of the happier times when you were still here with us
to share. Four years later, we still are not ready to say good-bye.
February 18th, a day I wish never came.
Love You & Miss You With All Our Hearts,
Mom, Dad & Lory
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